My husband is traveling for work, again. It's sporadic, no real rhythm to when he travels or for how long. He was gone for 4 days a few weeks ago, and this time it's 9 days. We're now on day 6 and I think 4 days is about my limit. Cole missed his Daddy and was fussier for the first couple of days, then we got into our own routine and he's ok, but I miss Dan. Nothing has really changed - I do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and I get up through the night. But I miss having another person here, I miss the noises, and just knowing that if I really needed a hand, he'd be there. Dan helps - he can play with Cole while I'm cooking and can help fold laundry once Cole's asleep. He's there to talk to and to share the joys of parenting Cole.
Unfortunately tonight, Cole's asleep, I'm tired, laundry's folded, and I'm just waiting for Dan to call. He usually calls around 9 when he gets out of work, and we can talk for a bit about our days. Tonight, he called only to say that he was going on a hike and would call when he got back down. "It's a short hike." Well, 2 hours and 20 minutes later, I'm still up waiting. I know the time difference plays in, it's only 8:20 there. But it's 8:20, and dark, and he's in another country. It's 11:20 here, and I'm exhausted and know that I'm likely going to be up again in an hour or two to feed Cole.
I hate this feeling, but I wonder when he's traveling like this if he isn't happy to get away from our routine sometimes, and I feel very unappreciated and that he's being quite inconsiderate. I know it doesn't happen often, he'll travel a whole bunch for a month or so out of the year. It still hurts.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
why mess with perfection? - 4 months, 1 week, 6 days
I did not circumcise my son. I left him as I made him - natural and intact and perfect. For myself and my husband, it was never even considered. My husband is intact, and even though we don't actually talk about my husband's penis, if we ever did, I'd thank my mother-in-law for leaving him intact, and hope my son's eventual wife feels the same. Foreskin isn't there for decoration, it's essentially equivalent to a woman's labia and clitoris - which we'll all agree are NOT just "extra flaps of skin", as the foreskin is often called.
I know that some people think the foreskin is just a gross extra piece of skin - but it isn't! It's a highly sensitized piece of skin with multiple functions! It protects the glans (head) of the penis from rubbing against fabric, from constant exposure, and from poop! When the foreskin is cut, and the glans exposed, it becomes dry and calloused, further desensitizing what should be a very sensitive part of the male body. Depending on how drastic the cut is, a circumcised penis is 50-80% LESS sensitive than an intact penis! Many believe that erectile dysfunction is caused by the desensitization of the penis caused by years of exposure and callouses. Also, the foreskin causes less friction during sex, and keeps natural lubrication in... It's been shown that most women cannot achieve orgasm with a circumcised man - one study claims that a woman is FIVE times less likely to achieve orgasm with a circumcised man than an intact man... Studies aside, most who have had sex with both a circumcised and an uncircumcised man will agree that it's better when a man's intact!
Female genital mutilation is commonly considered criminal and barbaric, but many consider the equivalent surgery on a male to be normal and routine. The propaganda used to promote circumcision has been disproved over and over again, circumcising an infant does not prevent disease, doesn't cure epilepsy, and it certainly doesn't prevent masturbation... All of these were reasons behind circumcision at one time or another! People also seem to think it's gross and smelly, but that's a hygiene issue! Teach a boy how to clean himself, and there are no problems at all. We don't cut off toes to prevent athlete's foot from fungus, we don't cut off ears because they're hard to clean. Women are 12,500 times more likely to get breast cancer than men to get penile cancer, but we don't routinely cut off baby girl's breast tissue to prevent breast cancer.
People think they're doing their son a favor by having this surgery "before he can remember it". They think they can't really feel it. Baby's are highly sensitive, and can't be properly anesthetized or ask for and take pain killers after. Before the surgery, the baby is strapped flat onto a cold plastic tray with a baby shape on it - arms spread straight out and strapped down, legs separated and strapped down. The opposite of being swaddled, safe and warm, as they were in the womb. The foreskin is actually fused to the head of the penis until about 3 years old, very like the fingernail is to the finger. To perform the circumcision, the doctor forcibly retracts the foreskin, and pulls it over a clamp. They clamp it in a vise, and then cut it away with a scalpel. Sadly, that is actually less painful at this point than the retraction and clamping. If you watch videos of circumcision, besides being scarred for life by a tiny helpless baby's screams, you'd see that many actually pass out, vomit, and go into shock. This can interfere with breastfeeding and with bonding, and may have a permanent psychological impact. Not to mention the absolutely permanent physical impact.
My son is perfect. Why mess with it?
I know that some people think the foreskin is just a gross extra piece of skin - but it isn't! It's a highly sensitized piece of skin with multiple functions! It protects the glans (head) of the penis from rubbing against fabric, from constant exposure, and from poop! When the foreskin is cut, and the glans exposed, it becomes dry and calloused, further desensitizing what should be a very sensitive part of the male body. Depending on how drastic the cut is, a circumcised penis is 50-80% LESS sensitive than an intact penis! Many believe that erectile dysfunction is caused by the desensitization of the penis caused by years of exposure and callouses. Also, the foreskin causes less friction during sex, and keeps natural lubrication in... It's been shown that most women cannot achieve orgasm with a circumcised man - one study claims that a woman is FIVE times less likely to achieve orgasm with a circumcised man than an intact man... Studies aside, most who have had sex with both a circumcised and an uncircumcised man will agree that it's better when a man's intact!
Female genital mutilation is commonly considered criminal and barbaric, but many consider the equivalent surgery on a male to be normal and routine. The propaganda used to promote circumcision has been disproved over and over again, circumcising an infant does not prevent disease, doesn't cure epilepsy, and it certainly doesn't prevent masturbation... All of these were reasons behind circumcision at one time or another! People also seem to think it's gross and smelly, but that's a hygiene issue! Teach a boy how to clean himself, and there are no problems at all. We don't cut off toes to prevent athlete's foot from fungus, we don't cut off ears because they're hard to clean. Women are 12,500 times more likely to get breast cancer than men to get penile cancer, but we don't routinely cut off baby girl's breast tissue to prevent breast cancer.
People think they're doing their son a favor by having this surgery "before he can remember it". They think they can't really feel it. Baby's are highly sensitive, and can't be properly anesthetized or ask for and take pain killers after. Before the surgery, the baby is strapped flat onto a cold plastic tray with a baby shape on it - arms spread straight out and strapped down, legs separated and strapped down. The opposite of being swaddled, safe and warm, as they were in the womb. The foreskin is actually fused to the head of the penis until about 3 years old, very like the fingernail is to the finger. To perform the circumcision, the doctor forcibly retracts the foreskin, and pulls it over a clamp. They clamp it in a vise, and then cut it away with a scalpel. Sadly, that is actually less painful at this point than the retraction and clamping. If you watch videos of circumcision, besides being scarred for life by a tiny helpless baby's screams, you'd see that many actually pass out, vomit, and go into shock. This can interfere with breastfeeding and with bonding, and may have a permanent psychological impact. Not to mention the absolutely permanent physical impact.
My son is perfect. Why mess with it?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
nursing in public - 3 months, 4 weeks, 1 day
There's been a lot of talk and controversy over nursing in public..
While I try to be discreet, and try to find semi-private areas if I find myself with a hungry babe when we're out, sometimes it just doesn't happen. Sometimes it's best to just sacrifice your own modesty for the happiness of your child. Cole doesn't really like to be covered up, and never has. Maybe that's because he was born in the summer, and it gets really toasty under a cover.
One memory that I will have forever is when I went to the mall with my best friend, when Cole was just over a month old. He got hungry, so I went to the little sofa outside of the bathrooms in Macy's, and sat and nursed. People came by, both men and women, and they saw and knew what was going on, but I looked at them, unashamed, and they were all fine. One little elderly woman came over, and patted Cole on his head and told me what a sweet little boy he was. While he was still nursing. She really seemed to have no problem with it! I think a big part of nursing in public is to do so as discreetly and modestly as you can, but without being ashamed. If you feel ashamed, then people pick up on it.
As to the "indecency" argument - I don't know... maybe you can see a tiny strip of my tummy in the picture below... and that's in a normal shirt, not even a nursing shirt.. oops, so indecent of me..
While I try to be discreet, and try to find semi-private areas if I find myself with a hungry babe when we're out, sometimes it just doesn't happen. Sometimes it's best to just sacrifice your own modesty for the happiness of your child. Cole doesn't really like to be covered up, and never has. Maybe that's because he was born in the summer, and it gets really toasty under a cover.
One memory that I will have forever is when I went to the mall with my best friend, when Cole was just over a month old. He got hungry, so I went to the little sofa outside of the bathrooms in Macy's, and sat and nursed. People came by, both men and women, and they saw and knew what was going on, but I looked at them, unashamed, and they were all fine. One little elderly woman came over, and patted Cole on his head and told me what a sweet little boy he was. While he was still nursing. She really seemed to have no problem with it! I think a big part of nursing in public is to do so as discreetly and modestly as you can, but without being ashamed. If you feel ashamed, then people pick up on it.
As to the "indecency" argument - I don't know... maybe you can see a tiny strip of my tummy in the picture below... and that's in a normal shirt, not even a nursing shirt.. oops, so indecent of me..
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
4 month update - 3 months, 4 weeks
4 month doctor's appointment today, Cole is 13 pounds 13.6 ounces, and 24 3/4 inches tall! Between 25-50% for weight, 50% for height. Since he's been very very hungry and up every 3 hours for the past few weeks, and since he holds himself up so well, Dr. Karen said that Cole can start eating some solid food! Just some rice cereal mixed with breastmilk to start, in the hopes that having a little something more substantial will help him to sleep a little longer at night. While I'm excited for this new milestone, and excited about the prospects of more sleep(!), I'm just a teensy bit sad that he won't be 100% "mine" anymore... Just the start of eventually weaning, and that's a tiny bit sad.
We'll be waiting until Saturday to try giving him a little food, when his Daddy gets home from his business trip - can't let him miss out on Cole's first food!
Of course, the 4 month visit also includes some shots... mostly he's just been a little more tired, and a little more cranky, but bedtime was pretty bad. Usually he'll nurse, get a new diaper, maybe nurse a little more, go into his crib, find his thumb, and fall asleep without crying..
But not tonight. He nursed, cried, got a new dipe, cried, nursed, screamed, went in the crib, screamed bloody hell, nursed, screamed, nursed while walking up and down stairs and bouncing slowly to keep him calm, went in the crib, screamed, walked downstairs, bounced, rocked, fell asleep on my shoulder, went in the crib, started to cry, found his thumb, stopped crying, and fell asleep.
oh boy, I really hope he sleeps a bit tonight...
Sunday, November 14, 2010
mama's sick... - 3 months, 3 weeks, 4 days...
I hate being sick.. I have an awful cold, and don't want to take anything that could tank my supply or get in my milk and affect my boy.. You never fully appreciate something until you can't have it. I miss my Dayquil! Luckily, so far Cole seems pretty unaffected because of the antibodies in the milk, I would HATE for him to feel like this.
I've found a pretty good cure for the raw sore nose, though! my Angel Baby Bottom Balm, from Earth Mama Angel Baby, is GREAT! I'd read that it's good for scrapes and burns, and pretty much any first aid situation, but this is really the first time I've had cause to use it myself, and my nose is SO much happier!
I've found a pretty good cure for the raw sore nose, though! my Angel Baby Bottom Balm, from Earth Mama Angel Baby, is GREAT! I'd read that it's good for scrapes and burns, and pretty much any first aid situation, but this is really the first time I've had cause to use it myself, and my nose is SO much happier!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
baby sign - 3 months, 3 weeks, 1 day
Well, I think Cole has gotten the "potty" sign pretty well.. he doesn't shake his fist, and sometimes his hand is more in a fist than with his thumb between his index and middle fingers, but he gets the point across! Sometimes he signs before he's done peeing, so I really think we may be able to try to potty train him early, and try ECing (elimination communication).
Our next sign is going to be "milk", hoping he won't confuse that with people waving bye-bye to him..
Our next sign is going to be "milk", hoping he won't confuse that with people waving bye-bye to him..
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
my cloth diapering experience - 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days...
and we have our first blow-out! for the first time, Cole poo'ed up the back of the diaper, and I had to change his clothes.. I guess that's a pretty long time, but I was kinda hoping it'd never happen. I think it may be because of his growth spurt and his gDiapers not fitting exactly right - you need to be able to get in the creases for them to work, and he just has so many creases!
So, for the most part, I love his gDiapers. They're super cute, nice and trim fit, not sitting in a landfill, and I'm not out buying disposables all the time! We use cloth inserts, and I have one extra medium sized load of laundry every 3 days or so. I use cloth wipes, too, so it's really quite easy! I have my old kitchen trash can sitting next to the changing area, and used wipes and gCloth just go right in! My cloth wipes are in the little basket of the changing area on the Pack-n-Play. The gPants are all around the side, I just sort of hang them there to air out. The liners are all attached, and when I have a few minutes I load gCloth into all of them to have them ready. A change is just like any other cloth or disposable, with one extra step - the creases! Push the liner into that main crease between the pelvic area and the leg, and it basically "seals" all of the pee and the poo in. The pee will all get absorbed into the gCloth, and the poo mostly sits on the cloth, but some will get in the liner. It (USUALLY!) doesn't get out, so for the 1 or 2 poopy diapers a day, you just snap out the liner, toss it in a lingerie bag, and snap in a new liner!
Cole doesn't get rashes because the gDiapers have no plastic, no chemicals, and are breatheable, but I still like to use Angel Baby Bottom Balm, which is cloth-dipe safe, especially at night when he'll be in a dipe for longer than a couple of hours.. instead of keeping the wipes wet, which can grow bacteria, I keep a bottle of Honeychunks solution next to the wipes and spray him before I wipe. It smells and works great, is all natural, and cheap!
I haven't tried any other brands of dipes because I bought the package of g's and really haven't had problems with them. I know lots of others do have problems with them, and have to switch to another, but if it isn't broke I'm not trying to fix it, so I'm sticking with our gDiapers!
So, for the most part, I love his gDiapers. They're super cute, nice and trim fit, not sitting in a landfill, and I'm not out buying disposables all the time! We use cloth inserts, and I have one extra medium sized load of laundry every 3 days or so. I use cloth wipes, too, so it's really quite easy! I have my old kitchen trash can sitting next to the changing area, and used wipes and gCloth just go right in! My cloth wipes are in the little basket of the changing area on the Pack-n-Play. The gPants are all around the side, I just sort of hang them there to air out. The liners are all attached, and when I have a few minutes I load gCloth into all of them to have them ready. A change is just like any other cloth or disposable, with one extra step - the creases! Push the liner into that main crease between the pelvic area and the leg, and it basically "seals" all of the pee and the poo in. The pee will all get absorbed into the gCloth, and the poo mostly sits on the cloth, but some will get in the liner. It (USUALLY!) doesn't get out, so for the 1 or 2 poopy diapers a day, you just snap out the liner, toss it in a lingerie bag, and snap in a new liner!
Cole doesn't get rashes because the gDiapers have no plastic, no chemicals, and are breatheable, but I still like to use Angel Baby Bottom Balm, which is cloth-dipe safe, especially at night when he'll be in a dipe for longer than a couple of hours.. instead of keeping the wipes wet, which can grow bacteria, I keep a bottle of Honeychunks solution next to the wipes and spray him before I wipe. It smells and works great, is all natural, and cheap!
I haven't tried any other brands of dipes because I bought the package of g's and really haven't had problems with them. I know lots of others do have problems with them, and have to switch to another, but if it isn't broke I'm not trying to fix it, so I'm sticking with our gDiapers!
Monday, November 8, 2010
growing boy - 3 months, 2 weeks, 5 days...
Cole must be in his 3 month growth spurt... he's been up every 2-3 hours to nurse for the past 5 days or so, and so fussy and sleepy, poor little guy :( ... Poor me, too, I'm as exhausted as I was when he was a newborn! Oh well, it'll pass..
On amazing notes - my 3 and a half month old son ROLLED from his belly to his back on October 30th and again the next day! And then he rolled from his back to his belly on Friday, November 5th! I don't quite think he meant to, and can't figure out how to free his arms once he's there, but WOW...
He has really strong legs, loves to stand, assisted, and even loves tummy time! I can put him on his tummy and put him in the middle of the room on a blanket while I fold laundry for 20 minutes and he'll just look back and forth across the room, watch me, and babble!
On amazing notes - my 3 and a half month old son ROLLED from his belly to his back on October 30th and again the next day! And then he rolled from his back to his belly on Friday, November 5th! I don't quite think he meant to, and can't figure out how to free his arms once he's there, but WOW...
He has really strong legs, loves to stand, assisted, and even loves tummy time! I can put him on his tummy and put him in the middle of the room on a blanket while I fold laundry for 20 minutes and he'll just look back and forth across the room, watch me, and babble!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
3 Months, 2 Weeks, and 1 Day since trading in my labcoat...
I'm officially a Stay-at-home-Mama (SAHM) now, and I guess I'll try blogging, as a hobby mostly!
3 Months, 2 Weeks, and 1 Day ago, my son, Cole, was born, and my life changed. Up until then, I was a Scientist, a Microbiologist with a Master's degree. It didn't make sense financially for me to go back to work and to put Cole in daycare, and I didn't want to! So now my days are filled with grins and giggles, and fussing and playing. I use cloth diapers, breastfeed, occasionnaly wear, and in general, LOVE my baby!
3 Months, 2 Weeks, and 1 Day ago, my son, Cole, was born, and my life changed. Up until then, I was a Scientist, a Microbiologist with a Master's degree. It didn't make sense financially for me to go back to work and to put Cole in daycare, and I didn't want to! So now my days are filled with grins and giggles, and fussing and playing. I use cloth diapers, breastfeed, occasionnaly wear, and in general, LOVE my baby!
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