My husband is traveling for work, again. It's sporadic, no real rhythm to when he travels or for how long. He was gone for 4 days a few weeks ago, and this time it's 9 days. We're now on day 6 and I think 4 days is about my limit. Cole missed his Daddy and was fussier for the first couple of days, then we got into our own routine and he's ok, but I miss Dan. Nothing has really changed - I do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and I get up through the night. But I miss having another person here, I miss the noises, and just knowing that if I really needed a hand, he'd be there. Dan helps - he can play with Cole while I'm cooking and can help fold laundry once Cole's asleep. He's there to talk to and to share the joys of parenting Cole.
Unfortunately tonight, Cole's asleep, I'm tired, laundry's folded, and I'm just waiting for Dan to call. He usually calls around 9 when he gets out of work, and we can talk for a bit about our days. Tonight, he called only to say that he was going on a hike and would call when he got back down. "It's a short hike." Well, 2 hours and 20 minutes later, I'm still up waiting. I know the time difference plays in, it's only 8:20 there. But it's 8:20, and dark, and he's in another country. It's 11:20 here, and I'm exhausted and know that I'm likely going to be up again in an hour or two to feed Cole.
I hate this feeling, but I wonder when he's traveling like this if he isn't happy to get away from our routine sometimes, and I feel very unappreciated and that he's being quite inconsiderate. I know it doesn't happen often, he'll travel a whole bunch for a month or so out of the year. It still hurts.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
why mess with perfection? - 4 months, 1 week, 6 days
I did not circumcise my son. I left him as I made him - natural and intact and perfect. For myself and my husband, it was never even considered. My husband is intact, and even though we don't actually talk about my husband's penis, if we ever did, I'd thank my mother-in-law for leaving him intact, and hope my son's eventual wife feels the same. Foreskin isn't there for decoration, it's essentially equivalent to a woman's labia and clitoris - which we'll all agree are NOT just "extra flaps of skin", as the foreskin is often called.
I know that some people think the foreskin is just a gross extra piece of skin - but it isn't! It's a highly sensitized piece of skin with multiple functions! It protects the glans (head) of the penis from rubbing against fabric, from constant exposure, and from poop! When the foreskin is cut, and the glans exposed, it becomes dry and calloused, further desensitizing what should be a very sensitive part of the male body. Depending on how drastic the cut is, a circumcised penis is 50-80% LESS sensitive than an intact penis! Many believe that erectile dysfunction is caused by the desensitization of the penis caused by years of exposure and callouses. Also, the foreskin causes less friction during sex, and keeps natural lubrication in... It's been shown that most women cannot achieve orgasm with a circumcised man - one study claims that a woman is FIVE times less likely to achieve orgasm with a circumcised man than an intact man... Studies aside, most who have had sex with both a circumcised and an uncircumcised man will agree that it's better when a man's intact!
Female genital mutilation is commonly considered criminal and barbaric, but many consider the equivalent surgery on a male to be normal and routine. The propaganda used to promote circumcision has been disproved over and over again, circumcising an infant does not prevent disease, doesn't cure epilepsy, and it certainly doesn't prevent masturbation... All of these were reasons behind circumcision at one time or another! People also seem to think it's gross and smelly, but that's a hygiene issue! Teach a boy how to clean himself, and there are no problems at all. We don't cut off toes to prevent athlete's foot from fungus, we don't cut off ears because they're hard to clean. Women are 12,500 times more likely to get breast cancer than men to get penile cancer, but we don't routinely cut off baby girl's breast tissue to prevent breast cancer.
People think they're doing their son a favor by having this surgery "before he can remember it". They think they can't really feel it. Baby's are highly sensitive, and can't be properly anesthetized or ask for and take pain killers after. Before the surgery, the baby is strapped flat onto a cold plastic tray with a baby shape on it - arms spread straight out and strapped down, legs separated and strapped down. The opposite of being swaddled, safe and warm, as they were in the womb. The foreskin is actually fused to the head of the penis until about 3 years old, very like the fingernail is to the finger. To perform the circumcision, the doctor forcibly retracts the foreskin, and pulls it over a clamp. They clamp it in a vise, and then cut it away with a scalpel. Sadly, that is actually less painful at this point than the retraction and clamping. If you watch videos of circumcision, besides being scarred for life by a tiny helpless baby's screams, you'd see that many actually pass out, vomit, and go into shock. This can interfere with breastfeeding and with bonding, and may have a permanent psychological impact. Not to mention the absolutely permanent physical impact.
My son is perfect. Why mess with it?
I know that some people think the foreskin is just a gross extra piece of skin - but it isn't! It's a highly sensitized piece of skin with multiple functions! It protects the glans (head) of the penis from rubbing against fabric, from constant exposure, and from poop! When the foreskin is cut, and the glans exposed, it becomes dry and calloused, further desensitizing what should be a very sensitive part of the male body. Depending on how drastic the cut is, a circumcised penis is 50-80% LESS sensitive than an intact penis! Many believe that erectile dysfunction is caused by the desensitization of the penis caused by years of exposure and callouses. Also, the foreskin causes less friction during sex, and keeps natural lubrication in... It's been shown that most women cannot achieve orgasm with a circumcised man - one study claims that a woman is FIVE times less likely to achieve orgasm with a circumcised man than an intact man... Studies aside, most who have had sex with both a circumcised and an uncircumcised man will agree that it's better when a man's intact!
Female genital mutilation is commonly considered criminal and barbaric, but many consider the equivalent surgery on a male to be normal and routine. The propaganda used to promote circumcision has been disproved over and over again, circumcising an infant does not prevent disease, doesn't cure epilepsy, and it certainly doesn't prevent masturbation... All of these were reasons behind circumcision at one time or another! People also seem to think it's gross and smelly, but that's a hygiene issue! Teach a boy how to clean himself, and there are no problems at all. We don't cut off toes to prevent athlete's foot from fungus, we don't cut off ears because they're hard to clean. Women are 12,500 times more likely to get breast cancer than men to get penile cancer, but we don't routinely cut off baby girl's breast tissue to prevent breast cancer.
People think they're doing their son a favor by having this surgery "before he can remember it". They think they can't really feel it. Baby's are highly sensitive, and can't be properly anesthetized or ask for and take pain killers after. Before the surgery, the baby is strapped flat onto a cold plastic tray with a baby shape on it - arms spread straight out and strapped down, legs separated and strapped down. The opposite of being swaddled, safe and warm, as they were in the womb. The foreskin is actually fused to the head of the penis until about 3 years old, very like the fingernail is to the finger. To perform the circumcision, the doctor forcibly retracts the foreskin, and pulls it over a clamp. They clamp it in a vise, and then cut it away with a scalpel. Sadly, that is actually less painful at this point than the retraction and clamping. If you watch videos of circumcision, besides being scarred for life by a tiny helpless baby's screams, you'd see that many actually pass out, vomit, and go into shock. This can interfere with breastfeeding and with bonding, and may have a permanent psychological impact. Not to mention the absolutely permanent physical impact.
My son is perfect. Why mess with it?
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